Whether he's a roommate, a business partner or a childhood buddy, a girl can bank on one sure thing; her boyfriend's best friend is not going to like her.
He may be a great guy, he probably is, but don’t make the mistake of assuming that a boyfriend’s best friend is a friend to all. He’s not, because a man's best friend doesn’t like the best friend's woman. Oh, he may, at first, before things start to look serious. As soon as the best friend realizes, however, that the girlfriend is a threat to his unlimited access to his buddy, he is going to turn on her, waging an all out man fight for the boyfriend’s attention.
According to the best friend, a woman over 30 is too old, if she weighs more than 95 pounds, she’s fat, if she has an opinion, she’s nuts, if her career is successful, she’s a witch. All of this is terribly disconcerting, and puts a woman in an awkward position. Clearly, it’s impossible to win the best friend over, at least in the short term.
How to compete with the wiles of a best friend? He has the boyfriend’s ear, his trust, and his own self-centered interests at heart. The good news is that the boyfriend is going to be either unconscious or indifferent about the ambivalence between his two favorite people. He would prefer that people admire his choice of a girlfriend, but real men don’t rely on such assessments. That is, unless the girlfriend makes one fatal mistake.
How Not to Handle a Boyfriend’s Best Friend
Don’t ever say anything bad about the best friend. If a woman starts complaining, the boyfriend is going to immediately assume that his buddy’s complaints are valid, and his girlfriend is trying to separate him from his friends. Men are extremely sensitive to a potential loss of independence, to domination by another person. His best friend is someone he cares about, and he’s also a symbol of autonomy. Don’t threaten a boyfriend’s sense of autonomy by attacking his best friend.
Don’t lie. Just keep quiet. Suggest that a boyfriend spend time with his best friend. Invite the best friend to parties, although avoid threesomes or private conversations where he can scrutinize closely and find more things to criticize. In other words, maintain a benevolent but distant association with the best friend.
Winning Over the Best Friend
It takes years to win over her boyfriend's best friend. During that period of time, the best friend realizes that his buddy's relationship is inevitable or he moves on. It's hard to do, but If a girlfriend remains friendly, the boyfriend is going to resolve the conflict by phasing out the person who gives him the most static. He is going to assume that the best friend is crazy; at least on the subject of his fondest affection. Which he is. Hell hath no fury like a best friend scorned or neglected.
As a woman is bound to reckon with, if she ever marries the boyfriend and the best friend, inevitably, delivers the toast. Expect more of a eulogy than a toast because in the fight for best man you and your significant other have come out the winners.
He may be a great guy, he probably is, but don’t make the mistake of assuming that a boyfriend’s best friend is a friend to all. He’s not, because a man's best friend doesn’t like the best friend's woman. Oh, he may, at first, before things start to look serious. As soon as the best friend realizes, however, that the girlfriend is a threat to his unlimited access to his buddy, he is going to turn on her, waging an all out man fight for the boyfriend’s attention.
According to the best friend, a woman over 30 is too old, if she weighs more than 95 pounds, she’s fat, if she has an opinion, she’s nuts, if her career is successful, she’s a witch. All of this is terribly disconcerting, and puts a woman in an awkward position. Clearly, it’s impossible to win the best friend over, at least in the short term.
How to compete with the wiles of a best friend? He has the boyfriend’s ear, his trust, and his own self-centered interests at heart. The good news is that the boyfriend is going to be either unconscious or indifferent about the ambivalence between his two favorite people. He would prefer that people admire his choice of a girlfriend, but real men don’t rely on such assessments. That is, unless the girlfriend makes one fatal mistake.
How Not to Handle a Boyfriend’s Best Friend
Don’t ever say anything bad about the best friend. If a woman starts complaining, the boyfriend is going to immediately assume that his buddy’s complaints are valid, and his girlfriend is trying to separate him from his friends. Men are extremely sensitive to a potential loss of independence, to domination by another person. His best friend is someone he cares about, and he’s also a symbol of autonomy. Don’t threaten a boyfriend’s sense of autonomy by attacking his best friend.
Don’t lie. Just keep quiet. Suggest that a boyfriend spend time with his best friend. Invite the best friend to parties, although avoid threesomes or private conversations where he can scrutinize closely and find more things to criticize. In other words, maintain a benevolent but distant association with the best friend.
Winning Over the Best Friend
It takes years to win over her boyfriend's best friend. During that period of time, the best friend realizes that his buddy's relationship is inevitable or he moves on. It's hard to do, but If a girlfriend remains friendly, the boyfriend is going to resolve the conflict by phasing out the person who gives him the most static. He is going to assume that the best friend is crazy; at least on the subject of his fondest affection. Which he is. Hell hath no fury like a best friend scorned or neglected.
As a woman is bound to reckon with, if she ever marries the boyfriend and the best friend, inevitably, delivers the toast. Expect more of a eulogy than a toast because in the fight for best man you and your significant other have come out the winners.
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